"Savi, my son was born in 1971 when I was serving with the military while overseas in the Philippines. I delivered him in the back of an ambulance while enroute to the hospital. In 1987 my Filipina wife and I were separated for reason of our sons usage of drugs, mostly \"weed.\" My wife was aware of their usage and, from time to time,I suspected it. I had three son. He is the youngest. We lived in base housing and in 1987 I was looking for my golfing shirt to wear (my sons and I wore about the same size). I didn't play a lot, but was a fill in for another person who sometimes didn't make it to the golfing course. I discovered an enormous amount of pot in my oldest son's room and called for the base police to investigate to protect my military job. There were several stashes of pot and items found. I decided then to separate from my wife, since we had spoken many times about the possibility of my sons habits in the past. I had tried Family Services on the military base for help, but to no avail. My family problem to this day is that my wife always favors my son's side when discussions come up. My son, still smokes pot and drinks and has had fathered children, but chooses no responsibility in those areas. My wife and I, after finally divorcing several years ago, decided to make another try after I bout a small home in Texas and wanted her back. I had by this time given more of my life to our Lord and asked her to come and share my life with the Lord in 2005. I paid for her ticket and she arrived. We built life back up and seemed to have a steady Christian relationship. My son, came to visit us and stayed four months. He has his same habits and broke our relationship. My wife always agrees with him and still baby's him on and on. He left for a job with a friend from California to St. Louis, but soon will be returning, as he has had some problems with other workman. His last visit nearly caused us to lose our home from extra expenses. We live on a fixed income now. I love him for so many reasons, but not able to be a good father because of his demeanor. I told my wife if he comes back to live that I would get a restraining order. I don't allow his habits here in the home and it upsets him, which upsets his mother to some degree. He has never worked while living here and wants to use our only vehicle. With 23 years in the military and 15 years as a deputy sheriff, I stand my ground. However, things get misconstrued to other friends of ours and makes me appear a bad person. He needs help, I believe, for bipolar, but isn't willing to allow me to get him seen. Where do I go from here? I don't want to lose my home, since I am going on 63 years old. His mom says she can always live in the Philippines on her retirement. I have physical problems left over from Viet Nam and I need to keep my home here. Please advise me and thank you! " RD

"This is a very hurtful situation to be in. Your wife needs to stand up for her husband. You need to cleave to each other. Your son is a grown man and who needs the Lord Jesus Christ to save his soul. He needs to stay out of your house. At your age, you cannot lose your home and you need peace. You have worked hard for many years. The only way to counter this problem is to pray and stand firm. The Bible says, The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Get on a fast and pray for your son, your wife and the rest of your children. You are the head of the home. Where the head goes, so will the body and so your son will have to follow. Keep praying and be that strong soldier for Jesus Christ. You will win this war. You know the truth. The Bible says in Proverbs 29:15, The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." - Savi